BARMY MUSINGS by HERCULES GROUNDWATER
Hercules here – and glad I am here!

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I AM IN CALABRIA  That’s the toe of Italy – go on, Google it.

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Calabria! What a name, what a place!

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Just took a bus from Reggio as far as I could into the mountains. Then up,up, up….Walked up, struggled up, waddled up. Now have reached SNOW!!! All across the path.

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How bloody deep is it? I say to myself. Poor old Hercules could end up as one of those ice men dug up in 4000 AD, all black and leathery. They would get a shock – Blimey! (an ejaculation still used I would like to think), ‘Blimey, they were weird in 2000’ the researchers of the future would say.

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Maybe I would get my own museum, and perhaps I would be interpreted as the fat god in his sacred remote mountain sanctuary (not some stupid bastard that got lost in the snow!).
I’ll tell you about the Riace Bronzes- that’s another story!

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Anyrate, here I am it’s a Friday afternoon in March and I’m just swanning about on a mountainside in Calabria. Etna is quietly smoking in the distance (that’s a volcano not my lady companion by the way).

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Hey – I’m just a poor kid from the prefabs. How did I get to be roaming around free in Italy on a Friday? Once I’d be wasting my time watching the time go by until the weekend and a sort of freedom.

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But – not much time left for me ! When you start off poor it takes you ages to win your freedom and by the time you get life sorted its nearly time to say beddybyes!!!

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While there’s still life left in this chubby wobbly mass that passes for a body I’m gonna enjoy meself. Ok its hardly a Bear Grylls territory, but its my adventure and I AM BLOODY LOVING IT!

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