BARMY MUSINGS by HERCULES GROUNDWATER
Hercules here – I’m in Tropea
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Well now I’m in Tropea. It’s a beautiful town built on a cliff overlooking the Tyrhennean Sea.

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A seaside resort for Romans and Neopolitans. BUT – as I arrived there was a massive gale blowing off the sea. NOT the lovely calm ‘Coast of the Gods’ that I was expecting.

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I am here because of the legend that Hercules created Tropea on his Spain-to-Greece journey back from forming the pillars of Hercules (just one of the things that you do). I expected to be welcomed like a Hero not with a bloody force 5 gale!

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I couldn’t even open the window shutters! Could have ended up being blown all over the place.

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Very dangerous for a paper-based person.

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However – Moving On – There is the main square named after my illustrious predecessor. Piazza Ercole. So why have I received such an inclement and unfriendly welcome?

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I’ve managed to work out what’s going on – the locals got very independent and very Christian at one time.

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The blooming Virgin Mary of ruddy Romania is now supposed to be protecting the place from earthquakes, floods, beggars.. you name it, she protects against it!

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It seems to work though. In the cathedral there are two whopping unexploded bombs on display !!! Yes – unexploded bombs displayed in a church !

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The bombs were dropped by the Yanks in 1943, but apparently the Virgin Mary of Romania had them fall harmlessly into a hole in the ground. I must admit that she does a good job and all she asks in return is to taken on a tour around the town once a year.

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I don’t know how, but I think that this Maria Virgin thingy somehow got wind of my visit. Thought I was gonna claim my inheritance and take over the place. So she conjures up this stronger wind as a warning sign.

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I’ve got you sussed she is saying – Don’t push your luck Ercole.

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Now I get funny looks as I wander about, exploring. Dogs howl and bark. Cats do evil baby-screamy noises.

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What’s up – haven’t these people ever seen a cartoon character on holiday before?

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